As we age, intimate relationships gradually become a crucial topic in our lives. These relationships encompass our “need for belonging,” which refers to the requirement for normal social interactions with those we feel connected to. Whether or not this need is fulfilled significantly affects our mental and emotional well-being.
However, as we navigate the complexities of building and maintaining intimate relationships, various issues inevitably arise. One of the most widely recognized concerns is the infidelity of one partner. Today, we’d like to share an article by Dr. Robert Weiss, an American psychotherapist and expert in intimate relationships, in hopes of assisting individuals in better coping with the issue of a cheating spouse.
10 Signs of a Cheating Spouse
If you’ve started paying attention to this topic, you may have already noticed some signs indicating that your spouse may be cheating. First and foremost, it’s essential to acknowledge that if your intuition tells you your partner is cheating, they likely are. However, in addition to intuition, here are 10 relatively common behaviors that may help you identify signs of infidelity.
- Enhanced Appearance
Your spouse’s appearance may suddenly improve. For instance, if you notice your partner starting to work out or eat healthier, they may be putting effort into attracting someone else (which could be you, but also potentially an extramarital partner). Pay attention if your “slob at home” spouse begins to pay attention to their attire, or starts using perfumes they never bothered with before. This change may not be apparent when they’re with you, but they might exude charm in work or social settings.
- Secretive Use of Phone/Computer
Cheaters often become more secretive with their devices, adding passwords where there weren’t any before, regularly deleting messages or clearing browser histories, and keeping their phones with them at all times—even in the shower. These behaviors should raise red flags.
- Frequent Disappearances
A cheating spouse may often fail to respond to your messages or calls, citing “reasonable” excuses like being in meetings or driving. If they conveniently go missing during business trips or overtime, it’s a cause for concern.
- Changes in the Bedroom
Changes in sexual frequency, either an increase or decrease, can indicate infidelity. A decrease might signal shifting interests, while an increase could be a way to alleviate guilt.
- Blaming and Irritability
Cheaters often rationalize their actions by blaming their partner, criticizing them for changes since marriage. If you feel constantly criticized or distant, it could be a sign of infidelity.
- Altered Schedule
Unexplained overtime or sudden business trips, especially if they were previously uncommon, could indicate lying. Forgotten responsibilities like picking up kids or celebrating anniversaries might also occur more frequently.
- Strange Behavior from Friends
Your spouse’s friends might act strangely around you, possibly because they know about the infidelity. Your own friends might avoid discussing your relationship or treat you with unexpected kindness out of sympathy.
- Unexplained Finances
Unexpected expenses or dwindling bank balances, especially if accompanied by vague explanations or outright lies, could indicate infidelity.
- Emotional Distance
A lack of emotional intimacy, including sharing fewer emotions or secrets, suggests that your partner might be confiding in someone else.
- Avoidance of Discussion
Your partner might avoid discussing the issue altogether, deflecting conversations or getting defensive. Trust your instincts if you suspect something is amiss.
It’s crucial to note that your spouse may exhibit all these behaviors without actually cheating. However, if any of these signs are present, it’s a warning that your relationship may be in jeopardy. Whether infidelity is occurring or not, it’s essential to address any issues that arise, either to repair the relationship or to move on separately.
Discovering changes promptly and taking action is key. While your loved one may leave, it’s never too late to love yourself.
English 
Lao